SpringBreak a Petey, Coach and DILF Story
by HaleTheCoach
Summary: Peter Hale, Chris Argent and The Coach go on Spring Break, Only not everything goes as planned... What can go wrong? Rated M for Language.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One - The Plane Ride

"Where the hell is he!" Chris 'The DILF' Argent said looking at his friend Bobby 'The Coach' Finstock. Coach looked at Chris and said in a bored voice "Listen, Chris, Don't panic, Petey will be here! He is very rarely late" Chris literally face palmed and said "Oh Reeeeeally? What about the time he asked us to meet at the Museum for 'Checkers' And turned up three hours late in a limo… Not being driven… No, He stole the fucking Limo… Wait whats that" Coach turned to look at a crowd and saw their best friend Peter Hale, Or as he has requested to be called 'Petey' Walking towards them in a giant sombrero, shades, A bright yellow vest top and bright green swimming shorts. And no shoes The DILF Tilted his head and said "Yo, Petey wheres your shoes?" Petey kind of stumbled and laughed saying "Gentlemen where we are going we don't need shoes. We will are going on Spring Break!" The trio laughed and turned to go through the terminal heading towards the tunnel to board the Plane.

As Petey took his chair by the window he looked beside him to see a Vicar sit beside him, He looked behind him to see Coach and Chris sitting two rows behind him in fits of laughter. They both knew how much Petey hated religion to the point that he once replaced 'The Blood of Christ' With Vodka, Needless to say when the children were baptised with Vodka it did hit the news and he was jailed for forty eight hours. He didn't regret a thing.

"So… You're a Vicar are you?" Petey said, The Vicar turned to Petey and smiled "Yes child, I am a man of christ" Chris watched as he saw the Giant Sombrero tilt slightly "He's not going to hit the Vicar is he? I don't think we will make it to Cancun if he does…" Coach watched equally worried that Petey would start a fight before they even got to Spring Break.

A hour and half passed and no fights had happened. Coach and Chris were talking about what they were going to do. Petey was sulking staring out of the window as The Vicar was singing Gospel songs. "Can you please just… Stop?" Petey asked through gritted teeth. The Vicar smiled brightly and said "Listen child, There is always time to listen to the songs of Christ!" Petey turned to him with a forced manic smile and said "Well maybe I will just kill you?" The Vicar looked shocked and said, "Child, You need Jesus! Our father, Who art in heaven! Hallowed be thy name!…" Petey started banging his head against the window as The Vicar started to recite The Lords Prayer. Suddenly a idea popped into Peteys mind, He reached down to his bag and pulled out a bottle of vodka, The Vicar didn't notice as he was so busy singing joyfully, Unscrewing the cap Petey tipped vodka into The Vicars Tea.

Chris 'The DILF' Argent turned just in time to see Petey pour Vodka into The Vicars tea. He turned to Coach and said "Oi. Look what Hale is doing!" Coach peered in-between the chairs and watched, A smirk crept onto his face and he whispered "Well look at that, Petey is getting a Vicar drunk, I guess Spring Break has already started" Chris chuckled and said "It appears it has, Cupcake" Coach held up a hand and said, "Put it there, Bro!"

As The plane was approaching Cancun Petey had his arm around The Vicar and they were both singing Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer. As the plane came into land The Vicar screamed "Woooooah we're half way there! Woooooooah we're living on…" Just then a stewardess walked up to Petey and the Vicar and said "Excuse me, Sir I'm going to have to tell you to come with me, You're disturbing the other passengers" The Vicar laughed and turned to Petey and slurred out "Ha! Can you believe this hooker? Tellin meh a man of the Lord Jesus Christgg to go with her?!" Petey held up his hands in defence and said politely "I don't rightly know what to say, Ma'am. He has been shouting at me for the last few hour…" "Yeah! I shooouuted at you!" Petey Smiled stiffly and turned back to the window smiling as The Vicar was taken away by security "You can't take me! My lord Jesus Christ will save meeeee"

As the trio were reunited at the baggage reclaim they watched as The Vicar was taken to holding by security. Apparently he had been causing fights. Chris turned to Petey and said in a amused voice "Really, Petey you got him arrested" Petey smirked and said "Well… He did sing the lords prayer in my ears… I thought it was a suitable punishment." They heard some footsteps behind them but ignored them, It was only when they heard a familiar voice say "So… You boys are here for Spring Break… Well, Let me tell you, You boys will have the time of your lives…" Petey, Coach and Chris turned around to see Adrian Harris standing there his arms around two girls who looked like models, He reached up and pushed his Sunglasses up to rest on his head "Trust me…"


	2. Chapter 2 - Bad First Impressions

Chapter Two - Bad First Impressions

"Harris?!" Petey said in honest surprise "What are you doing here?" Adrian looked to Petey before turning to the girl on his right arm and said "Tory how about you go and get me and my friends a few cocktails, Put it on my tab…?" Chris stepped forwards and said "You… Have a tab at a Airport?" Adrian turned to the trio and said in a near shocked voice "Of course I have tab at the airport! I am one of their regulars." He leaned in towards the trio and said in a small voice "I'm not gonna lie, Without me this place would probably be bust… But you didn't hear that from me." Petey nodded slowly not quite sure what to make of this new information, Coach stepped forwards and looked around "Hey, Guys we should make a move on as we don't want to miss our taxis!" Adrian waved a nonchalant hand and gestured to his now guests to follow him "Guys, You're on my island now, Stick with me and you'll be ok" The trio followed a little worried that they were gonna miss their rides Adrian called behind him saying "Casey! Get their bags and put them in the car, Then join us later will you, Love" He turned to Petey and said "Where ever you were planning on staying? Cancel and get a refund, You guys are now staying at my Villa" Coach jogged up to walk beside Adrian and said "How the hell can you afford a Villa?! You're on the same wage as me!" Adrians eyes glinted as he smirked and said softly "Am I?" Coach stopped and tilted his head and said "What just happened."

As Petey and the boys took their seats at the Airport Tory walked over with their drinks and placed the drinks on the table, Adrian who was sitting on a couch leaned forwards and picked up the his cocktail, Motioning for Tory to join him on the couch he sipped from his drink he turned to the boys and said casually "So, Tell me. What brings you to my idea of paradise?" Petey looked to Chris and gestured for him to answer. Chris sighed and said "Well, We were thinking of taking a Spring Break, You know escape the chaos at home in Beacon Hills." Adrian nodded and sipped on his Martini "Understandable well, You came to the right place" He rose from his seat and said "Well our ride is here now" Petey looked shocked "What do you… Hey I recognise that lim…" Petey ducked suddenly as Adrian looked down at him with a confused expression "Um, Peter, What are you doing?" Chris looked out the window and smirked trying not laugh "Oh. My. God, Bobby what are the chances of this happening?" Coach who was admiring his Lacrosse pen glanced out of the window and burst out laughing "Isn't that the Limo you stole a few months back to drive to the Museum for 'Checkers' Petey?" Petey looked over and the duo and glared at them "No shit Sherlock! The driver vowed to kill me if he saw me again… And well… He seemed quite insistent I don't think he enjoyed being hogtied and being stuffed in the boot of the limo… Now I think about it, That was not my best choice of Grand Theft Auto." Adrian looked up at the Limo which was waiting for them patiently and said "Look guys, I own that Limo don't worry about a thing, You're with Adrian Harris now. My name is basically royalty around these parts, Don't sweat it" He gestured for them to follow him out of the airport, Chris and Coach followed still laughing at Petey's bad luck with the Limo. As they piled into the Limo, Petey exited the Airport his sombrero pulled low to cover his face, Chris 'The DILF' Argent watched as the Driver glanced over at Petey. Chris and Coach watched as The Drivers face went from his normal tanned self to one of pure hatred. Adrian who was snuggled in the corner with Tory didn't see this.

Petey stopped and saw the Driver. Petey looked left. No clear exit, Petey looked Right… Dead end "Well shit." Petey muttered, He only had one choice forwards. Petey threw his Sombrero to the side like a heroic cowboy and took off running forwards. It was just his luck that the wind blew the Sombrero back at him covering his face knocking him over slightly, But this didn't stop Petey he wrenched the hat from his face and jumped sliding over the bonnet of the car like the Alpha Werewolf he was. Coach and Chris just watched amused I mean this is what they came here for, A memorable Spring Break and well, With Petey you never know what you're going to get. What they didn't expect was for the Driver to start the car and take off after Petey.

Petey was having a lot of bad luck today, A Vicar on the plane now he was running around like a wolf on the full moon… Heh a wolf, He laughed at his own joke, He was a werewolf. As he turned down a side alley and ducked behind a dustbin. How was he going to get out of this one. He brought out his iPhone and loaded up messages choosing 'DILF DILF DILF DILF' and typed out "Bruh, Where are you guys, Can you get meh Harry Harris' Address so I can make my way there, Blud" It took a few moments for Petey' phone to go off but when he looked down he saw he had a text from "Poach of Lacrosse' Petey sighed as he read the entire speech for independence day "As if Coach actually typed that all out" As Petey was starting to get agitated he sent a text to both Coach and DILF saying "Guys, Address… Like now, Kinda lost at the moment! Your home boy Petey" As Petey pressed send he heard the main theme to Independence Day and looked up to see Coach and Chris sitting on a wall looking down at him "What are you guys doing there?!" Petey asked in surprise. Chris grinned and said "Well, Petey… Harris lives here."


End file.
